Chubby Nickel Audio Vlog

Chubby Nickel Audio Vlog

Recorded: 2010-04-30

Aaron: Deadly Tornado Kills 10 in Miss.
Aaron: Good Samaritan Left for Dead on City Sidewalk
Aaron: Survey: 72% of Millennials ‘more spiritual than religious’
Aaron: Swastikas Smeared in Beans Found on Capitol Grounds
Aaron: Birthers Plan To Storm Washington
Aaron: SF Officials Ban City Worker Travel To Arizona
Aaron: Suntanned women to be arrested under Islamic dress code
Aaron: Arizona agency seeks federal help on immigration law
Nicole: AZ Residents Planning Counter Boycott
Nicole: Man Doesn’t Eat Or Drink
Aaron: “America is #1.”
Aaron: FAA To Airlines: No More…
Aaron: Men in Nazi Garb
Aaron: How Rude!
Aaron: Floating Prison…

 

 Chubby Nickel Audio Vlog [53:28m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

First of all, guns shouldn’t be smoking. Second of all there have been really bad snow storms that pretty much prove that global warming is a fraud concocted by aliens to try and terraform our planet by removing “greenhouse” gasses from the atmosphere because it’s poison to the aliens.

It’s so obvious it’s irritating that more people don’t see it! Let me spell it out to you:
10) It’s cold and snowing really bad so global warming is a fraud
9) Global Warming being a fraud means that thousands of scientists are lying
Since scientists wouldn’t just lie, it means that someone is controlling them
7) The only people powerful enough to control scientists are aliens, corporations or the shadow government
6) Corporations will have to innovate and spend time and money to adapt to green technology so they wouldn’t do it
5) The shadow government doesn’t need scientists to control things because they just kill people
4) So aliens are only ones with the means and motivation to create such a huge fraud
3) Aliens want to conquer other planets but they’re not just attacking us so they need to do something first
2) Since they’re more advanced, the only thing they’d need to do is terraform our planet
1) And since Global Warming is a hoax, “greenhouse gasses” must be poison to them

Since all the points are pretty steadfast after my first point, I’ll just offer up my evidence for why global warming is a hoax: It’s cold right now and snowing a lot. It’s like when you’re on trial accused of being a serial killer, you can just say, “If I was a serial killer, then why aren’t I killing right now?” Because that is the best evidence right?

C’mon people, you’re smarter than this. Why is it so much cooler to see a nude pic of a dead chick? She dies and then you wanna see her nekkid? what the hell? You necrophiliac freaks! doesn’t it strike you as odd that you want to see someone who was murdered and dumped in a trash bin sans clothes?

First off, don’t let your wife see you searching for playboy models because she’ll get jealous but on top of that don’t go searching for things that don’t exist. It’s like the garden of Eden, it’s simply a fairy tale (or tail in this case). But shouldn’t you be searching for why this poor sexy blond was murdered? I didn’t think her swimsuit pictures were that bad…

But maybe this Ryan Jenkins reality show guy got his manhood challenged by an attractive girl and couldn’t handle that she didn’t want him or something… anyway the fact that he’s not returning calls, he’s possibly on the run to Canada and probably still has her teeth and fingers in the car… what the hell is wrong with whoever did this? teeth and fingers? fucking sick.

The moral of this story, stop looking for nude pics of Jasmine and try to feel sorry for her family.

Poor Richard.

Now if you’re thinking what the fuck? then you’re probably right, what the fuck indeed. There’s no way we would ever want peace! That’s for pansies, why have peace when you can start a war and fight on false pretenses without recourse? it’s fuckin’ awesome! We get to blow the shit outta those middle eastern countries for no good reason. I wanna find the guy who’s idea it was to spend a trillion dollars on boom sticks and boom boom balls and give him a big gay hug.

When we went to Iraq I wasn’t thinking “hey do they really pose any kind of threat?” oh no, I was thinking man this is an awesome way to practice getting our asses kicked by a bunch of bat-shit crazy fuckhead god loving fanatical psycho’s just like the republican party of which I’m a card and gun carrying member. It’s awesome we get to scare the living shit outta misinformed people by telling them that good ‘ol Saddam is gonna butt rape your dog unless we go to war and kill ‘em or we could tell them that these death panels exist and they’ll decide how you die but we’ll send these crazy mindless shouting drones into town hall meetings ’cause they wanna be on T.V. they’re the crazy ones, we just feed ‘em the bullshit and they turn it into political fucking gold and the cycle of fear just repeats, it’s friggin’ awesome.

Man, I tell ya when we start this next war over oil and claim that it’s for patriotism it’s gonna freakin’ rock, but first we gotta get this Kenyan communist Nazi outta the white house ’cause he’s tryin’ to help people get better health care. boy is that fucked. We need people to be in poor health so they’re constantly in debt and working otherwise us rich bastards couldn’t sit back and enjoy our ample wallet sizes — we’d have to actually compete for things like health care if there were some kinda regulation or even a public option. But what we’ll do is say to the people that it’s too crappy to work and it’ll cost gazillions of dollars, but then we’ll tell congress that it’ll be too good for companies to compete and no one will be the wiser. Man that Obama guy scares the crap outta our racist constituency so much that we’ve got a plan to oust him in the next election that’s three years from now I dunno how that’s gonna work because we don’t have too much experience planning that far out, we usually go with our gut.

The bottom line is that we’ve gotta do something otherwise we’re not gonna be able to keep increasing the income of the rich while stifling the poor and we all know how that ends when people are working for fair wages and are able to supply food and housing for their kids without having to work two to three jobs while we the rich work none, that’s why we need to take over the congress again so we can assure all the rich assholes that they’re not gonna have to be even remotely equal to other people… man that gives me the shivers just thinking about it — equality… i don’t think that’s what god intended.

Joe ‘the bastard’ richfuck republican

Like one of our previous posts the end of life planning section of the health care bill is under fire from the right wing like Sarah Palin has called it a “death panel”. This couldn’t be farther from the truth, instead what is being proposed is entirely logical and absolutely should be included in the final bill.

What is the problem with your doctor talking about the planning of your end of life care? If anyone should be talking about it it should be you and your doctor as well as with your lawyer but that’s another issue. Keeping a plan for your end of life care could keep you from being put on a ventilator when there is little to no chance of your recovering and you’ll just spend the last days of your life feeling like you’re choking with your hands tied down, just as I could imagine Hell.

If you are opposed to this, consider this: the cost savings as well as the humane death of people would be much better than without a plan. With a plan you could put such a thing as a do not resuscitate order if you don’t want to be brought back. Also if you get to be 90+ and get pneumonia you could die peacefully in days in your sleep or you could die as previously mentioned on a ventilator and in complete discomfort.

You shouldn’t buy into the right wing shit, they don’t have your best interests at heart and here’s why: the reason republicans don’t want end of life plans is because their constituency would benefit and profit from it because they would perform more operations which helps make their boat payments. You remember the good old days when hospitals were non-profit? I don’t I wish they would make health care something for people who cared about people and not a profiteering venture for sadistic personalities.

In conclusion why don’t you listen to the people who have your best interests at heart? Any smart person already has a living will, a last will and testament as well as an end of life care plan. But most people don’t have the incentive to do it and most who do won’t until it is evident that they are going to die which may be too late. This is a good idea and will save the money and integrity of all people involved. We should all agree to do the most good even if it costs people like me who have perfectly good health care insurance to help people who don’t.

Originally the health care bill did not have anything remotely like what Sarah Palin referred to as a **duh duh DUHH** death panel, but now that crazy right wing republicans have brought it up the liberals are going to consider putting it in the bill and here’s why:

The death panel would consider saving money by euthanizing retards, and by this I don’t mean handicapped people who could participate in the special Olympics but people who think that the sun revolves around the earth, or that think that Obama was born in Kenya, those kind of retards.  And in doing so the violence rate would go down because we all know that those crazy retards are usually gun totin’ (their word) republicans who would rather start a war, spend a trillion on things that go boom and send body parts flying than spend about half that to save the lives of our poorest fellow citizens, Fucking retards.

We could also kill off old people because they annoy the hell out of us for many reasons, among them being how they drive (turn your left blinker off grandpa!), they’re usually senile and as such probably republican because they don’t remember that they had a brain to think with. They’re usually self righteous and think that they know everything ( like teenagers with diapers and a retirement check). They tend to be gay about president Reagan to an extent a flaming fag couldn’t understand.

We could also get rid of annoying proselyting evangelistic christians MAN they’re annoying! holy shit are these guys crazy in the cranium! I’d love to talk to a Scientologist though, what batshit crazy fuckheads they are. Maybe instead of sending these nut bags to death we could just send them to institutions or even North Korea I hear they like crazy people there.

Finally we could use death panels to get rid of people who would burn themselves with coffee and sue McDonalds for giving them what they asked for. Or use them for taking care of corrupt politicians, or maybe politicians who fight against gay marriage to go suck cock in some random bathroom. Or for idiots who yell like a drunk hick in town hall meetings, well the republican party is all drunk hicks who like getting done or doing in the ass, so I guess that could’ve gone without saying.

Billy “lefty” Bob

Maybe some of you (three) avid readers have had this conversation/argument. That perception frames an individual’s reality, or that reality is reality whether or not it is ever perceived for what it is.

I’ll try to be as fair to both sides as possible, so let’s start. The arguement for perception is this: perception is reality, meaning that how a person sees something is reality I.E. John Doe thinks that if a tree falls down in the forest and nobody’s there to hear it, it didn’t make a sound and for that matter it may have never fallen at all. Simply the fact that it wasn’t perceived by anyone means that it didn’t happen.

In contrast the realist believes that if a tree fell in the forest “of course it made a sound dumbass! physics proves that!” to which the perception promoter quips “they’ve only tested what they’ve seen, maybe if they could test an unperceived tree falling in the forest” Which would prompt reality man to reply “You’re such an idiot, how can they test something that is unperceived? you’d have to see and hear it to test that theory and if you do that you would be ruining the experiment because you’re there!” as you can see attempting to acquiesce either side would be moot, and both parties would be mooters! though mooters may or may not be a real word is beyond the point, I perceive it as a legitimate word, so it is.

So, perhaps this arguement is a bit more logical, one person sees the color red, but to them it appears the same color as another person sees blue, now the fact that they were told since preschool that the colors were the colors doesn’t change the fact that one person sees blue as someone else sees red, so that person’s perception would be different so their reality as it pertains to that color would be different. Or the realist would say that all eyes have the same optical receptors and that only if a person was color blind would someone see color in a different way than another because all humans have the same equipment.

Hasta (insert spanish words for whenever i seeya!)

My brother just made me a new layout for the site that is like one billion times better than the original. So here it is, I also added the blog to the site.

Oh yeah, I will be making some new comics soon… I just have so little time and so much I want to do. I will start prioritizing everything I want to do using this uber cool task manager (Task Coach), I found… from a link that was sent to me from my brother.

Not that any one I don’t know is reading this, but yeah… soon.