Chubby Nickel Audio Vlog

In Australia in 2007 a young boy by the name of Max Hell was rejected from school because of his last name. Though the boy’s last name is in fact the antithesis of heaven he is in no way a representative from the underworld. It has been reported that people who know the family says they’ve known Hell for years and said that “His parents have been raising Hell for years” and also said that they will likely “continue to raise Hell for years to come”

The fact that hell the dominion of Satan exists in the first place is because God made it, so I think that because the warm rest home known as hell has given young Max Hell a bad name he should sue God for defamation and for using his name in vain.

Colon Semi

A little while ago I was talking to my brother on the phone while shopping for groceries and expressed my distaste for racial profiling and some, obviously reasonable, person decided that he would drop in on my conversation and tell me how liberal I am if I think that “those people” are not more prone to crime than the rest of us.

So I asked him if he were to only look for bad strawberries and just assume that all other fruit were free of or had a smaller amount of defects, how would he find the results?

After his brain gears slowly screeched to a stop, I answered for him: if you are only looking at strawberries as being bad, then you would find more bad strawberries than in any other fruit. It doesn’t mean that other fruit has a smaller rate of being bad, just that you are only looking at strawberries.

I am not racist, I believe we are all humans. I could be no more racist than I could hate people with blond hair. So what is my problem with racial profiling? It has less to do with it being racist than it does to it letting people off the hook by ignoring them.

I know that not every crime is going to be caught by the police. I know that crime is not limited to a race or even class of people. So what happens if the police are only actively watching black people while I am getting robbed at gun point by two lazy white assholes? Yes, that is a very emotional statement. My point is that if the police are watching only a certain race, class or appearance of people, then the people they are not watching get to do the same or worse crimes right behind them.

Davin Creed

Democrats tend to be too slow to pass anything, they’ve got 60 people who caucus with them in the senate yet they couldn’t pass a bill to ensure that water always contained H2O.

pansy chicken shits.

Yuppie puppie

Does it strike anyone as odd that the republicans at large are being total dicks by going to town hall meetings of anyone with an alternate view to theirs and shouting down the speakers? Why don’t they try winning with logic and ethics and with good argument? Well it’s probably because they lack logic ethics and good argumentative skills.

The republican party doesn’t use logic it uses it’s gut like G.W. Bush said, and everyone knows that when they’re out of power they go crazy like Manson on LSD and similarly — people will die. But that’s what republicans like, they like wasting money not on things that work like “Cash for Clunkers” you know things that even republican citizens like and use but they like to waste money on killing people. The Iraq war was totally unnecessary but we had to do it… why was that again? instead of spending money to save lives like giving health care to all also known as a “good thing” that’s probably why they don’t like it because they’re too busy “hiking the Appalachian trail” or doing other things that ruin their marriages (also known as “bad things”) so that gay marriage won’t have the chance to.

So let’s go kill people because they look a lot like the people who flew planes into buildings while our insufficient health care kills our own, that’s a great idea idiots!

Tommy Duright

I currently live in a state filled with inbred white right wingers, the fact that I live in a red area in a red state exacerbates that problem. They tend to believe in the free market (that isn’t free). They believe that less government promotes social mobility (actually we’re worse than Britain on that one). They believe that the government has the least efficient way of getting things done (tell that to private road construction companies). But above all they believe that God is the reason they are so good to their fellow man and that everything republicans stand for is good in gods eye. Almost as if God said let there be the republican party (– and saw that it was good?).

These right wingers believe that they believe in Christ and that this great nation was founded by puritans for the sole purpose of the right to praise almighty God in their own way, whether it be to pay money (another word for almighty God) to save your soul or to join the priesthood, take a vow of celibacy and rape young boys.

These crazy conservatives believe that the current health care system is the best option the world has because it was created by the “free market” that is owned and regulated by powerful men who would sell their kids’ kidneys for a couple grand — but they have your best interests at heart. These “Christians” which means followers of Christ don’t follow Christ and here’s why johnny! They believe that God made men equal and that means that any man who is born into indigent circumstances is their own damn fault because they didn’t want it bad enough or something like that and not because like Christ taught that those with should help those without. Our health care system is not a health care system it is a sick care system (because we take care of people when they’re sick) and even a death care system (a.k.a. hospice) but not a health care system. If everyone in the country not only had free care when they were sick but also had proper care before they get sick we could save billions and trillions of dollars in just decades. And the increased health benefit would surely promote our productivity to a level never before seen in the plot of dirt we call home but be careful to only live in what the McCain Palin duo of death called “the real America” which presumably means where people vote for them. Back onto the subject of health care just like everything else the republican assholes believe that it is only for the select few, like college, and political offices they’re preserved only for those whose parents either worked their asses off or for people who have worn knee pads. I don’t think Jesus ever said “forget the poor they just don’t work hard enough to get what rich people get, they’re lazy bastards”, but you Jesus lovers should know that Jesus was constantly helping the poor and would in all probability be for taking care of the poor like giving them health care. And hey! if you give them health care you could be just like Jesus and cure the blind the sick and the afflicted. Though not even Jesus could save the right wing from their own stupidity.

I’ve had some crazy arguments with righties (or right wingers) including topics like torture, now you’d think that a party that was crazy against a woman’s right to abort an embryo would also be against other human rights violations such as previously mentioned health care but also torture. I’ve heard things like “I think we should torture every one of those bastards” now is that what your WWJD decoder ring said? I don’t think so, didn’t Jesus say to love your enemy as yourself? because “what you do unto the least of these my brethren you do unto [him]“? Go ahead and torture the son of god Jesus lovers. Maybe that’s why Larry Craig was gonna blow a guy in an airport bathroom. Don’t you think you’re a bit misled in believing that you really love Jesus when all you love is money and the fact that unintelligent people may look at your false benevolence and assume because you praise god for an hour or two on Sunday that you are in fact a pious person. But Jesus never said go to church on Sunday and you will be SAVE—Duh!

Those crazy insane sadistic right wing lunatics also think that it’s okay to spend over a trillion dollars on killing people (so far 5000 of our own troops and over 100,000 civilians since the wars in the middle east started) but not to spend a few hundred billion on health care for people which would save lives, they must rationalize by saying to themselves “they’re going to meet Go–duh sooner because of me! Wowie I’m such a good person! Golly gee willigers am I a good Christian!” If that were the case Jesus would have been killing people instead of healing their afflictions right? Or am I talking about the same Jesus here?

It’s true I forget that the God that Republicans worship is in fact the almighty dollar though they claim themselves Christian. Hey Sarah Palin can you see people dying on the street from your house?

Tommy Duright